Math is Dirty!

How Mathematicians do it:

  • Algebraists do it in a ring, in fields, in groups.
  • Analysts do it continuously and smoothly.
  • Combinatorists do it as many ways as they can.
  • Complex analysts do it between the sheets.
  • Computer scientists do it depth-first.
  • Cosmologists do it in the first three minutes.
  • Galois theorists do it in a field.
  • Geometers do it symmetrically.
  • Graph theorists do it in four colors.
  • Hilbert spacers do it orthogonally.
  • Linear programmers do it with nearest neighbors.
  • Logicians do it by choice, consistently and completely.
  • (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)].
  • Mathematical physicists understand the theory of how to do it, but have difficulty obtaining practical results.
  • Pure mathematicians do it rigorously.
  • Quantum physicists can either know how fast they do it, or where they do it, but not both.
  • Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
  • Statisticians probably do it.
  • Topologists do it openly, in multiply connected domains
  • Cantor did it diagonally.
  • Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn’t fit it in.
  • Galois did it the night before.
  • Mobius always does it on the same side.
  • Markov does it in chains.
  • Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants.
  • Turing did it but couldn’t decide if he’d finished.
  • When Cauchy did it, the distance became less than epsilon.
  • Godel did it but incompletely.



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